Self-Esteem, really

Think about it: we usually consider our self-esteem in relation to other people.  I’m insecure, I feel less important, or I feel confident in the world and maybe even superior.  It’s comparative.

But the source of self-esteem is your Self.  And how worthy you feel depends on how respectful you are toward your Self.

What’s a Self?  I don’t know.  It’s a unique someone in there who has preferences, feelings, opinions.  It’s what grown-ups talk about with little children, even infants.  Oh, he’s always watching, or she’s a bright little thing, much happier than her brother.  Or we talk about “character,” with people and animals of all ages.  Whoever or whatever that is in there, I’m calling it a Self.  Everybody has one.

But not every person is given permission by their family or culture to pay much attention to it.  You can’t, if people around you don’t even see it, much less show any interest in it.  You have to adapt to them.  It’s basic survival, belonging.

And then . . . you have limited “Self-esteem,” because your Self truly feels not important.